In the Buddhist Monastery two young Western novices approached the present writer who was then a monk known formally as Yajamangalo, but amongst friends, 'Tan Jai'.

"Tan Jai," said one of them, "may we ask you a personal question? Well, very personal, really."

"You may ask, sure, but I may not answer. What is it?"

"Do you, at your age..." (Tan Jai suddenly felt older than the earth)... "Do you still get randy?"

Looking them straight in the eye, Tan Jai replied, "yes!" There was a groan from the novices and you could almost hear their hearts drop down into their sandals. "Oh sh..sh..sugar! How are we going to get through it?"

Novices, like the monks, take vows of chastity. Absolutely no form of sexual indulgence is permitted. A monk may not make any physical contact with a woman.

"Do you know the Buddha's teaching on Tanha?" asked Tan Jai.

"Yes. It means 'clinging'. Clinging is supposed to cause suffering."

"Right. I'll tell you how it works. When you are sitting in meditation, or simply walking through the forest, and the thought arises of a sexy-looking girl, you can cling to that thought and suffer, or you can let the thought go and stop suffering. There is nothing wrong with having sexy thoughts. They are meant to be. They arise and they pass away, like all thoughts, whether they be of desire or regret. If you can do nothing about the situation, hanging on to the thought is self-torture. So what must we do?"

"Change the focus," they said together gloomily.

The same applies to going without cigarettes. When a born-again non-smoker has that first cup of coffee in the morning, the thought of how great it would be to drag on a fag arises, and he begins to focus his mind on the feel of that smoke going down into his lungs. Well, he can stay with that focus and torture himself, or he can focus on another thought, get up and do something, even if it's to simply look out the window, and let go of the desire. It helps if you are determined that you will not allow your body to dictate to your mind. Who's in control here, anyway?

Of course, it helps a lot if you understand meditation and know that its primary purpose is to gain 'sati'; awareness of where you put the focus of your mind at all times. Unless you are experiencing physical pain at this precise moment, any suffering you are undergoing pertains to memories of the past and anticipations of the future. Both are states of mind. Depending on the thoughts, they can be pleasant or painful. It's your choice isn't it?

It is interesting to note how much effort we put into keeping our bodies fit and exercised. There are many ways to train the body. It is also interesting to note what little effort is put into keeping our minds fit and exercised. There are many ways to train the mind. Meditation, turning within, is the greatest. Some of us have to pay a psychologist to tell us about our own minds. How about a little do-it-yourself?