MAKING THE WORLD GO 'ROUND

Very few of us take responsibility for our own happiness. We prefer to surrender that prerogative to some other thing or some other person.

"I can only be happy IF the people in my life keep loving me." Or conversely "I can only be happy IF he/she stops doing such and such, changes, and starts doing the things that would make ME happy."

There are no permanent conditions in the physical plane. All things are in a state of flux; and it we look outside our own selves for happiness we are bound to be disappointed. That is not to say that we cannot enjoy or take pleasure in material things or in relationships with other people. Just have the wisdom to realise that true and lasting happiness is an internal process and it is based on unconditional love.

We are not in the world to be understood, but to be understanding, and we are not in the world to be loved, but to be loving.

Do not ask each other to change. Allow each other to be. Accept each other's faults and weaknesses. If the other changes, that's fine. If the other does not change, that's fine too. Do not seek to be loved, just be loving. This way you will neither hurt, nor be hurt. It is not what another person DOES that makes you unhappy, it is the way you respond. That's what responsibility is all about. The ability to respond wisely.

If you and your partner are beginning to drift apart, ask yourself this: "Do I make my partner feel good about him/herself in my presence?"

Generally, in a declining relationship, we make our partner feel guilty. We use silence to project our hurt and disappointment and when we do speak the absence of warmth in our voice conveys our disapproval. We become masters of the unspoken assault. Masters of deliberate body language to express our non-love.

When did you last buy her a bunch of flowers, a box of chocolates, a non-birthday present? When did you last buy him a book, a bottle of wine as a non-Christmas present? When did you last PLAN to pay your partner a genuine compliment? Have you ever put up streamers and a "Welcome home, lover" sign when your partner had merely returned from shopping or from work?

Love calls to love. Truly you reap what you sow. Now seek yourself again! "Do I make my partner feel good about him/herself in my presence?"

Well, DO YOU?

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