The seven steps to take in order to love are spoken of by Lazaris in his book 'The Sacred Journey'. They are:

1. GIVING. Start giving of yourself and others physically emotionally, intellectually and intuitively. Don't worry about getting. Just develop your ability to give.

2. RESPONDING. Allow yourself the spontaneity and the willingness to respond. Be responsible to yourself and then to others.

3. RESPECTING. To honour your emotions and the emotions of others whom you want to love is respecting. You honour your emotions by appropriately expressing and releasing them. To honour the emotions of others, you give the permission and safe space for them to express and realise what they honestly feel.

4. KNOWING. We can know someone through pain and through understanding. Because so many are afraid to love, they inflict pain on themselves and others. Seeking understanding involves taking the conscious time to reach out, to develop the skill of loving, seeking understanding of yourself and others. Remember, you are not in this world to be understood but to be understanding.

5. COMMITTING. It takes courage to commit. Usually fear of humiliation and rejection takes precedence or postponing with the thought that something better might come along turns us against commitment. When commitment feels like imprisonment, it is your logic speaking, it is your fear. Commitment to someone or something you love is a liberation.

6. ALLOWING CHANGE. Be willing to let people change. If you see people at their worst and BELIEVE that is what they are, then that is what you will consistently encounter. Better to believe that all that was yesterday. Today we create anew.

7. CARING. Love has nothing to do with pity. Care is not pity. Let yourself care for others.

The important thing is, how do we keep loving? Do not let fear enter! Keep alert, for it can creep in under your guard. Imagine that you were given a ring and was told it was gold plated and the stone was nothing special. You would wear it without fear of loss; where ever you went and whatever you were doing. Then suppose that you were to discover that the ring was solid gold and of such antiquity that it was worth a fortune. If you were to lose that ring now! Disaster!

If you love more, the value of that love increases. This is why so many run from love, keep it at arm's length or even stop loving. Strangely enough the antidote to fear of loss is to love deeper. Give, respond, respect and care. For love to continue, it must work at reducing the fears it produces.