Oh are they now? No offence to J L Styne, who must have been paid a fortune by De Beers for his songwriting efforts, but really, what would a man know about a girl's jewels anyway?

Because if Styne knew anything, absolutely anything about the relationship between women and their accessories, he must have foreseen that Diamonds, once the symbol of everything forever and together and cutesy-pie brilliant, were on their way out long before Marilyn and Jane had to prostitute themselves on a European cruise-ship in order to hook a man.

Because there's a new shiny bauble on the jewellery block and its causing a big stir round town, lifting its leg on every 'in' firehydrant brave enough to withstand the shimmer. We're talking lust as in lustrous and glam as in glamourous. Baby....we're talking PEARLS.

Today's modern girl is just KE-RAZY about PEARLS.

Around since the beginning of time, when the ocean cultivated its first stinky little clam, Pearls have been revered as valued icons. To the ancients, pearls were a symbol of the moon, moonbeams which fell into the ocean and were swallowed by oysters. Magical.

Diamonds are all about waiting for *him* to call. Pearls are about getting what you want when YOU FEEL LIKE IT!

In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if this whole diamonds number is a conspiracy by the conservative movement to make women reliant on men. I mean, we all know that Diamonds are forever.......but, as Laurie Anderson so eloquently once reminded us, this is because women's pay is so low compared to mens' that forever is how long it takes us to afford one!

Which brings us to why Pearls are storming the barracades of 21st century fashion.

In the past, Pearls have long been the domain of the discerning but mature woman, along with twinsets, earl grey and a liberal dab of maja.

Well thank God, times, they are a changin'.

The modern woman's cry for gorgeous things has been heard by both nature and pearl farmers alike, who have ditched their old mothball fashioned cream necklace numbers in favour of the most deliciously dripping strands of Green, Black, Bronze, Purple, Pink, Brown, Gold and Silver pearls, in funky shapes and styles such as the choker, drop earrings, anklets and rings.

One of the great ways to stack the old jewellery box with pearls is to host a pearl party. Forget Tuppaware - who wants to treat themselves to a plastic salad bowl? Pearl parties involve getting your best girlfriends together with a crate of champagne (or asti sparkling if the red shoes from David Jones got in first) on a Saturday afternoon. It all adds up to first class bitchiness as former friends gladiator themselves to the death over nature's most sinful strings.

The fantastic thing about holding a pearl party is that, instead of recieving a biscuit cutter the shape of a woman tied to the kitchen sink, you could get a Black Pearl ring!

And if you still have any doubt at all as to the truth of my wise counsel, ponder this one. According to Howard Hawks, Gentlemen prefer Blondes. But who says that Blondes prefer gentlemen? And even if they did, why the hell would they rely on them for anything, when, as the saying goes

All you need is a string of pearls and a smile :)

Think Lush, think Glamour, think Pearls.

For more information on hosting a pearl party or buying some deliciously stunning baubles (which of course, you absolutely deserve), call Corporate Genii on 0411 316 796, email her on genii@geniicorp.com, or check out the Corporate Genii website.

- Neriman Kemal