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HARRY KO VISITS THE CHILEAN TNT BIKERS

. ITS NOT OFTEN YOU GET TO MEET A GROUP OF PEOPLE WHO TRULY HAVE A DEATH WISH.
I HAD ALWAYS IMAGINED THAT I WOULD HAVE RESPECTED THE KAMAKAZI PILOTS OF JAPAN, THEIR SHEER DETERMINATION IN THE FACE OF ULTIMATE DESTRUCTION. I GUESS THAT THOSE PEOPLE HAVE A FAIRLY LIMITED LIFESPAN AND SIMPLY CANNOT BREED FAST ENOUGH TO KEEP THE INSANE BLOOD LINE GOING.

ANYHOW I'M IN CHILE COVERING THE HANG GLIDING, WHICH IS GREAT IF YOUR EITHER A HANGGLIDER DUDE (ITS A BUZZ FLYING AROUND IM TOLD) OR SOMEONE WHO ENJOYS STANDING ON THE GROUND WATCHING LITTLE PLASTIC TRIANGLES CIRCLE AROUND ENDLESSLY IN THE SKY ABOVE (IT TOOK ME AROUND 10 MINUTES AND 2 CANS OF AUSSIE BEER TO TIRE OF THE WHOLE THING). ANYHOW IN THE PURSUIT OF XTREME RESEARCH I WENT LOOKING IN THE RELEVANT PLACES FOR SIGNS OF ULTRA VIOLENT SPORT. FORGET YOUR CHICKEN, DOG, MONGOOSE, SNAKE ETC FIGHTS, FORGET THE BARE FISTED, NO HOLD BARED ILLEGAL BLOOD SPORT MATCHES, THERE ALL FOR PUSSIES!

WHILE SAMPLING THE LOCAL BREWS IN AN OUT OF TOWN BAR I MET A GROUP OF FELLOWS WHO INTRODUCED ME TO A SPORT WHICH IS ONLY FOR THE VERY BRAVE OR THE VERY INSANE.

TAKE A MOTORBIKE OF ANY KIND (ENGINE SIZE NOT A FACTOR - IT JUST HAS TO RUN) - WELD A 22 GALOON DRUM TO THE BACK WITH A COUPLE OF BRACKETS RUNNING FROM THE BACK AXEL BOLT TO STABILISE IT, WELD A REINFORCEMENT PLATE AT THE BOTTOM OF THE DRUM (WHICH SITS RIGHT BEHIND THE SEAT) - THEN PROCEED TO WELD SEVERAL 2 INCH STEEL PIPES INTO THE DRUM (AS MANY AS YOU CAN HAMMER IN) - JUST FOR GOOD MEASURE WELD THE BACK END OF IT ALL TOGETHER & STRAP IT ALL AROUND WITH FENCING WIRE.

THEN USING SAWDUST, AND SEVERAL AGRICULTURAL PRODUCTS THESE DUDES MAKE UP A HIGHLY VOLATILE AND EXPLOSIVE MIXTURE WHICH THEY CAREFULLY PACK INTO THE PIPES AT THE BACK OF THE BIKE. THE WHOLE LOT IS TOPPED OFF WITH A SMALL ARRAY OF ELECTRICAL DETONATOR CLIPS WHICH ARE JAMMED INTO THE END OF THE PIPES AND ALL WIRED TOGETHER INTO A SWITCH MOUNTED ON THE HANDLE BAR OF THE MOTORBIKE.

THESE GUYS HAVE DONE THIS MANY TIMES AND CAN PUT TOGETHER A COMPLETE RIG IN A DAY, THEY SAY ITS BEST TO RIDE THESE MACHINES AT NIGHT, AND THE SELECTION PROCEDURE FOR THE RIDER TAKES US WELL INTO THE NIGHT AND SEEMS TO BE BASED AROUND THE CONCEPT THAT THE MORE YOU DRINK THE MORE CHANCE YOU HAVE TO BE THE ONE IN THE HOT SEAT.

SOMEWHERE AROUND MIDNIGHT (THOUGH REALLY I WOULDN'T HAVE A F/N CLUE AS I WAS COMPLETELY PLASTERED AND MY WATCH WAS STILL SET ON AUSSIE TIMEZONE) THE CROWD MOVED OUTSIDE THE BAR, WHICH WAS LOCATED AT THE BASE OF A LARGE HILL WHICH RAN NORTH FOR ABOUT 15 KM. THE MANIAC WHO WAS FINALLY SELECTED TO RIDE THE BEAST MOUNTS HIS FIERY CHARIOT TO THE CHEERS OF HIS FELLOW GANG MEMBERS. THERE IS MUCH THROWING OF BOTTLES AND GUNFIRE AS HE TAKES OFF IN THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION TO GET UP SOME SPEED, SUDDENLY BEFORE I KNEW WHAT WAS WHAT THERE WAS THE SOUND OF A MOTORBIKE BEING THRASHED IN TOP GEAR TOWARD THE STAGGERING CROWD OF PEOPLE.

IN A SECOND THE RIDER TORE PAST US AND AS JUST AS HE HIT THE OTHER SIDE OF THE GROUP HE HIT THE DETONATOR SWITCH AND THERE WAS AN ALMIGHTY EXPLOSION. THE FORCE OF THE DETONATION WAS ENOUGH TO HIT ALL IN THE CROWD LIKE A GOOD KICK IN THE GUTS, SOME FELL TO THE GROUND.

AS THE DUST SETTLED AND MY EYES REFOCUSSED ALL I COULD SEE WAS WHAT LOOKED LIKE A FIERY COMET SCREAMING TOWARD THE SKY. IN REALITY IT WAS A KAMAKAZI CHILIAN TEARING UP A DIRT ROAD AT SOMEWHERE NEAR 260KM+. THE EXPLOSION LASTS FOR AROUND 2 MINUTES AND IN THAT TIME IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO CONTROL THE BIKE IN ANY WAY AT ALL, SO YOU WANT TO BE POINTING IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION WHEN YOU HIT THE SWITCH.

SOMETIME AROUND DAWN THE RIDER WAS FOUND AND DRAGGED BACK IN TO AROUND THE HUGE FIRE WHICH WAS NOW BURNING IN THE CARPARK & SURROUNDED BY DRUNKEN AND ASLEEP BODIES. THE RIDER WAS PRETTY TORE UP AND HAD APPARENTLY GONE THROUGH 3 WIRE FENCES BEFORE EVENTUALLY COMING TO REST IN A DAM ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE HILL SOMEWHERE. HE WAS ALIVE, BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY HE HAD FACED HIS OWN FEARS AND SURVIVED.

THE NEXT DAY THEY DRAGGED WHAT WAS LEFT OF THE BIKE BACK INTO TOWN. SOMEHOW THE RIDER HAD BEEN PROPELLED INTO THE NIGHT ON WHAT WAS BASICALLY 22 GALLONS OF EXPLOSIVE STRAPPED TO A BACK WHEEL. THE WHOLE FRONT OF THE BIKE WAS MISSING, THE HANDLE BARS WERE BEND BACK, AND THE BACK TIRE WAS MANGLED BEYOND BELIEF.

IF YOUR EVER LOOKING FOR SOMETHING TO DO ON A FRIDAY NIGHT, AND YOUR BORED WITH THE USUAL CROWD DOWN THE LOCAL, THEN WHY NOT HEAD OVER TO CHILE & LOOK UP MY BUDDIES. YOU CANT MISS EM, JUST LOOK INTO THE NIGHT & FOLLOW THE FLYING COMET!

NO PAIN - NO BRAIN

- Harry KO

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