Why is Rick's hair?
Tuberculosis Taylor - A Well Placed Gun to the Head. What should these two phases have in common?
Where has Brooke's daughter disappeared to and why do I get the feeling she'll return in six months having aged ten years.
Yes, its Bold and the Bitchy Part 1, the inaugural guide to what's happening on the Fashion Show In The Know.
Bold and the Beautiful, CBS's most glamorous daytime soap opera to date, follows the loves and trials of The Forrester Family, the most famous fashion house in America, if not the world. They tell us what's in, what's not, what's cold and what's hot. In their Spring, Autumn, Winter and Summer collections, which are always, each one of them, "THE MOST IMPORTANT COLLECTION THEY'VE EVER DONE", the Forresters lavishly flaunt wealth and design talent, showing LA just who rules the fashion roost....
....or do they, because never far behind are The Spectras, two-bit white trash fad-fashion wanna-be's always threatening to upstage The Forresters with their cheap gimmicks and underhanded stunts aimed at giving their own take on fashion a wider audience.
The Forresters and the Spectras, two families always in battle with each other, if not themselves.......
Following is a rundown to the characters in Bold and exactly where they fit in -
Stephanie Forrester - Suffering matriarch who still pines for ex-husbane Eric. Feels bitter and twisted towards Brooke Logan, the woman who's fucked both her sons as well as her husband. Bummer dude.
Eric Forrester - Head Honcho at Forrester Fashion Empire. One of those perenially silver-haired silver-tongues who couldn't help but sleep with his son's ex-wife, producing two children fifty years younger than him. Always looks concerned about something.
Ridge Forrester - Eric and Stephanie's eldest son and Co- Producer of the Show. Has a very square jaw.
Thorn Forrester - The middle son. Gets second rate screentime and storylines compared to bum-lick older brother. In my opinion, the stud of the show and WAY better than the old Thorn, Jeff Tracta, whose hair was too girly.
Rick Forrester - Youngest son of Eric and Brooke Logan. About to be played by a new actor who doesn't look as cute as the old one but at least doesn't look as though he sleeps on his face at night, causing his hair to recreate a picket fence on his head.
Amber Forrester - Wife of Rick and in competition with Angelina Jolie for the world's fattest bottom lip. Gone from being lying street musician to lying rich-bitch stay-at-home mom.
Kimberley Fairchild - In love with Rick. Would someone put the poor sow out of her misery. She stared off into space one time to many and the wind changed, causing her to look perpetually pained.
Sally Spectra - Sally Rocks!! Single-handedly kept Spectra Fashion in business all these years - this woman deserves a Telstra Woman of the Year award. Desperately needs a makeover although I'm sure that once the show gets her and she Kimberley's father fucking they'll spice up her image.
Macy Spectra - boring boring boring. Bad haircuts, bad make-up bad fashion. Used to have a drinking problem.
Darla Einstein - Sally's secretary. A true shapeshifter. Loyal until a man's around....
CJ Spectra - Shallow but cute - needs to step out of Rick's shadow and assert himself as the show's number one teen stud.
Brooke Logan - Desperate to bed and bag a Forrester, anyone will do. Brooke's Bedroom, her new range of Lifestyle Products is an inspired storyline, allowing Brooke to wander round in lingerie and fluffy hair-clips.
BEST RECENT STORYLINE AWARD GOES TO..... AMBER FORRESTER!
Amber slept with a black hip-hop star the night before she consummated her passion with virgin husband-to-be. To make sure that white Forrester didn't get the shock of his life if a black bub came out, she left town to have it. In the cliffhanger of the year, just as the baby came out of Amber's twack, there was a blackout so you couldn't see if the bub was black or white till the next episode. Unfortunately, as it turned out, whilst the baby was indeed white, the baby died at birth and was buried in the desert. Fortunately, Amber's poor white trash cousin had a baby on exactly that same night and had decided to adopt it out and so Amber just swapped her baby with the cousins and Bob's your uncle, or in this case, Rick's wife's cousin's son.
Stay turned, it just gets weirder.......and more glamorous... - Neriman Kemal
The Bold and The Beautiful, Channel 10, Weekdays, 4.30-5pm
